This week's action......

Today’s action happened to be on a Wednesday. The change was due to limited numbers for the best day of the week, but as it turned out only four showed up anyway because the Menace was out to fight the forces of the resistance which he promised to do so ages ago.

But anticipation was big: Champions League and poker at the same night WOOHOO. But then disaster struck and the dodgy box of unlimited channels decided to go to the graveyard of my gadgets and joined the plasma of doom, the deep fried laptop and the pc of old ages.

Some celebrations on the felt anyway: Pete went over to the dark side of the twenties and joined the club of early pensioners.

Jason, Colin, Roundhead and I started a tight battle. Pete and me soon on a low stack, where as J and Colin scooped in pot after pot. After a while though it seemed to turn and I clawed back some minor pots to help me survive just that little bit longer. Same with Pete, who put in a lot of effort and managed to gather a reasonable amount of chips. Convinced he will hit everything though he called my all in. It was his straight draw against my royal flush draw after the flop and the flush on the river left Pete banging his head on the table trying to shape his roundhead to a square. Not many chips left he went all in again and Col finished him of

A cry of joy reached us from the other part of the city as The Vulture heard of Pete’s fate!
Battle for the bubble was a tight one. Noone wanted to give in and it started to be a big grinder. Too much for Pete and his white gloves - he put the cheese board of celebrations on the table and a bounty on my head.

Enticed by the price of a cheese wedge J and ‘ze german number 1, Ja’ went in a biggie against each other. Q66 on the flop, 6 the turn followed by a Bullet. Jason confident that his house was big enough to beat me started scooping up the chips until he eventually realized that I had the poker of the devil! Soap for Jason.

Heads up and I was on the chip lead for a change. Great, considering the difference between my stack and Colin’s.

Letting the blinds do the work it soon was all over and second spot for Colin and a HATRICK for me!!!

Till next week....

This blog was brought to you by the letter R

Colin 2
Raff 1
Dennis 1
Dougie 1
Pete 1

This week's action.....

What a game!!!!

Really awesome hands played last night!Almost everyone was chip lead at one point in the game, rivers and rivers and rivers and rivers. Straights, flushes, full houses and straight flushes – everything there. Position changes in the league, tight start, and not much between each player.

Luck changed countless of times, well, saying that it has to be pointed out that Greg obviously was excluded from that and got the spoon – again. He's collecting more spoons than you would need to feed an Indian family their Sunday's curry.

A big cheers to that from Jason who obviously reached chapter two in the guide on how to play poker. A sensible fold kept him in the game. Away from rock bottom for J!

Then there was Dougie hitting a massive straight flush. Didn't get many chips for it though.Dennis felt the need to point out that Thursday nights are getting absolutely ridiculous in terms of using mind enhancing clouds of smoke. Consequences were, that from that point on always two people had to skin up -

AT THE SAME TIME!!!

CONSTANTLY!!!

That left the evening in a bit of blur and Pete's mind temporarily left the room and had a wee wander around unknown spheres. His mouth unfortunately didn't realize that and random words and sentences came out with hardly any connection to reality. I mean, even worse than usual.

Five ways took a while, but no boredoms with plenty all ins, houses on the river and straights on runner runner.

The unimaginable happened!!! I dropped half of one of the above mentioned smoking sticks of happiness out the window. I was facing a tough decision here, the way I saw it, I only had 2 choices:

1.Absolutely, totally and completely humiliate myself, jump out the window and try to rescue the most glorious of blacks and keep on smoking and be happy –
OR
2.Pretend that nothing happened, the bus ticket was near, I finished it and no one would say a thing, meanwhile being sad of missing out on inhaling the friend of giggles and munchies.
Needless to say I was hanging half out that god dam window with both legs in the air doing acrobatics worth an Iron Cross and rescued that poor bastard.

NEVER LEAVE A MAN BEHIND!!!

Despite earlier boosts in chips, Denman soon had the curse of the river on him and was next out. Followed by Colin by the same fate, runner runner this time, after a brave battle.
Battle for the bubble!Again I was facing those 2 birds.Pete's mind found it's way back again and his play... well, he played, which is more than before.

He must have been cursing though, cause my logic said good bye and I confidently called Pete's All In with a straight that wasn't there and consisted of four not connected cards. The river brings out a flush, for me. which I haven't even seen or considered being in the possibility of hands I can achieve. WOOOHOOO.

What ever happened from now on, important is that the Gull fell of the top spot.As it turned out he got his feathers plucked by two players, Dougie and me, with joint first.The last hand played was KJ against K8, King hit, but Dougies 8 didn't and that was that.

Good luck everybody in the Euro million and see you on Wednesday for Pete's Birthday game.

Till next week.......

5s and 9s are growing apart, 25 – 24 equals 6.

This blog was brough to you by Heir Ralpheal

This week's action.....

Here we go again, second biggie of the year and already 2 cancellations: Denis prefers dinner with mummy, whilst Jason is still reading books about how to play poker.

Five ways with all the regulars that come every now and then.
No laptop either so back to the old school button and card drawing for position.

Roundhead eager to get back to the top starts the bullying early and accumulates a decent pile of clay. Mainly taken from gregorious, who seems to be out of luck these days.
Pete gets a fellow big stack holder, me, by collecting chips from Collin.

After a reasonable time and some tasty potato pancakes later the first all in is between Greg and Pete. Greg’s AJ suited doesn’t hit and he soon forks out another tenner for the 2nd hundred. Next one to follow is Collin… don’t know what happened there, but I’m sure he was behind all the way.

Top ups for the rest of us and it is before the blinds go up to 7/15, right? Need to get that one in my head.

Greg adds another splinter to his collection and secretly curses Gordo for not taken the spoon for everyone else.
Collin didn’t want another bubble and decided to go out on 4th spot. That gave him lots of time to dig in some ice cream filled pastry and his mind went completely blank when the best of premier league 2003/04 started.

Three ways! Me against two birds and on the lowest stack, too.
Cards are in my favour though and I get what is needed to shoot those budgies – Bullets.
After a few All Ins without any callers it’s Dougie first who thinks his cards are good enough to call. Nothing wrong with his KJ apart from me sitting on AJ – first blow leaves my Nemesis crippled. And on comes the Rocky theme tune; coincidence? I don’t think so!!!
Only two hands later it’s time to go heads up again: Dougster with the suited dogs and I had a rag Ace.
Flop brings a King and the Vulture’s hopes are as high as himself - only to be crushed by an Ace on the turn.
The only thing the Scavenger is picking up today is some of Fairy’s finest.

Heads up takes a wee while with small amounts of chips moving towards the Roundhead.
Eventually Pete is in the chip lead and plans to make a big move. I call his pre flop raise and out comes the flop 7AA. The Gull’s All In with a pair of ducks (any more birds around?) is happily greeted by my trip Aces.
44 is the number of chips left and Pete is all in blind.
Immediately call, blind, and a turn of my cards reveals pocket binaries! But Pete’s eyes brighten up when his cards turn out to be 2 Kings.
But that was it for Pete, next hand another All In and Pete’s out.
40 quid for Pete to replace his ‘as good as money’ scraps of paper and more importantly: Top Spot for the gull!!!

This blog was brought to you by the letter R

This weeks action.......

6 heads grace the felt. Nick-Nack AWOL again, having to work. Correct me if i'm wrong but if you're the manager then surely you call the shots, why have a dug and bark yersel - rumours are he's back next week! (mind your spoony munchies from 2 weeks ago). Denis, Raph (correct spellings), Pete, Colin, Jason and myself get down to action.

Not a lot to talk about early doors, Pete (PuffBaddie) bossing the table a bit with Raph joining him and getting early chip leads. I take a hand off Raph hitting an A on the river to make a house beating the Germans house (more like a bungalow with no cellar).

The talk then turns to munchies supplied by the landlord. A packet of wine gums, Nobbys Nuts, and some Oreos. Are they a rich mans Bourbon or a black mans Custard Cream? Jason has been dwindling all night and gets picked off by Colin, who is also on the dwindle. More -ve equatiy for the man from Corstorphine who declares he's not showing up for a while until he gets poker lessons, sit down with a good book on yer log fella.

Next to depart was Colin, picked off by me with pocket 7's against A rag. Next to leave is German no.1 with what and against who i have no idea! 3 way with Denis, Pete and myself. Denis tries psychological warfare claiming he's bound for the bubble. When pointed out that he only needs to double up he says "na man, i'll take hands off both o ye". He doesn't and it's a soapy tit-wank for the Ayrshire menace.

Battle for air supremacy takes no time at all. Pete raises my blind which I call. Flop comes 6, K, 8. I raise, Pete goes over the top, I push all in and get a caller. I'm sitting with 2 pair K's and 6's, Pete has top pair with J kicker. No hook arrives and with most of his chips gone, thats all she wrote.

First blood to the vulture, the top predator of the air clipping the "budgie". Lucky flop but played like a dream.

Until next weeks blog........

I'm away to wank over Robbie Keane!

(This blog was brough to you by the letter V)

This weeks action......
After a year at the top, and in that time a lot has happened. The Appin poker club venue has relocated, Gordo is pimping it in a sleazy Bangkok bar, America has a black president and Togo have a vacancy for a bus driver (amongst other events). The reign is officially over.

Billy big stack from Bangor, the son of Cromwell, Fergies love child, the mighty Gull has been shot from his perch and is no longer leading the table. (it’s only temporary, on loan, he squawked).

5 heads graced the felt. Nick-Nack goes MIA after last weeks spoon to attend a leaving-do, Jason has to do the in-laws thing which leaves Colin, Dennis, Raff, Pete and myself to do battle.

Early doors is low key with chips moving around the table. Colin takes a wedge out of Petes stack with trip 8’s leaving Pete on the low-tide. Raff decides to play every hand he has with an A, and comes up short, leaking all over the shop like a burst Johnny (or his toilet). Eventually getting put out of his misery by Colin who has pocket Q’s, going from hero to zero with a large chunk of timber to keep him company and the prospect of providing munchies next week.
Pete is next out, losing to his nemesis “the vulture” with what hand I have no idea. Raff then takes Pete downstairs to the Reichstag bunker for an hour to show him his “computer”. After that Raff returns to find his khazi blocked and reluctant to wade in man made star bars stops anyone taking a piss.

Battle for the bubble can mean only one thing. Colin, who, to be fair, was short stacked does what he does best. Picks up the Fairy detergent, dons the marigolds, sings West Ham songs and lathers himself into yet another frenzy of bubble-doom. Heads-up. Dennis and Dougie trade punches for over an hour until eventually I go all-in with A,7 getting a call with Q,8. Ace holds up. First points of the season but more importantly Den moves to top of the table.

The end of an era (thank-fuck), will anyone achieve what Pete did. Highly unlikely, well done to the fella for doing what he did, but its only downhill from now on mate.
Till next week......

Does anyone have a computer ball?

(This blog was brought to you by the Vulture)

This weeks Action.....

So here we are, 2nd match of the season and already everyone is late. Greg and Colin were left standing in the cold cause I was dragged out by the missus to do a “little bit “ of shopping. Three shops and over an hour later I arrived 7 minutes late at the flat, to see the two frantically pressing the buzzer and swearing at the laziness of the cat who just couldn't be bothered to get off the sofa and open the door.
Another 15minutes later the rest of the players finally arrive.
7 heads, tenner in, double munchies on stand buy - good to go. Tenner!!!
Jason forgot the chips – again.
Backup chips, cards and button are out and we are finally getting a game on the way.

Some big hands early on without any hits cost me about half my stack of chips. Same fate for Notorious who also gave his chips happily to everyone who wanted some.
The charitable spirit was abused by Colin, and he gained a big early chip lead continuing where he stopped last week.
The first all in was consequently B. I. G. v. Colin. And no prisoners taken Greg's A was beaten By Colin's A. Not really sure why, but rumours involve a Q and a 10. Did anyone hit? Couldn't tell you, but result is: Greg got his first splinter of the year and is responsible for next weeks munchies.

Frustration called for this weeks one and they involved a 16 pack of mini rolls, aka Jodie's chocolate sex toy... the whole pack that is.

No stopping the Colin who was up to a flying start and took on his next victim – Jason! The played hands are again covered by a mist of smoke.

A massive hand being played between Denis, Colin and Pete. Pre flop raise, both call. Flop comes big with A, Q, 10. A raise from Colin sees Pete out of the game but Den stays in and sees Col right to the end. Denis shows top pair but Colin hit a big full house – his pocket queens were full of tens. Denis crippled and just hangs on.

Colin's stack as high as himself which might be why he felt a bit light headed and announced merrily to Pete 'if you don't get any points today I'm going top of the league'.
After that curse is out it all went down hill from there.

I commited almost half my chips pre flop and got Colin as a caller – unfortunately. First to act, all or nothing and it's me all in. Only slight hesitation and Colin calls with top pair. The turn gave him trips and the river sealed it all when the my straight came together.
The game got a bit more tense now with Den playing very conservatively with his small amount he had left.

Dougie and Pete happily avoided each other and were just hoping for a mistake than can be exploited.

The tight game suited Denis, blinds already in the higher levels and him getting some big hands his stack grew to a more healthy size.

His first all in against Dougster and Colin tripled him up and Dougie took the side pot. Apparently there was another one against Pete but the recollection is dimmed by a cocktail of black, green and dust, the latter sponsored by Pete who likes to share it, even with his wife.

The third all in against me, pocket 6s against pocket Js but the very first card to come was a very decisive 6 and no rescue in sight for me.

Pete and Dougie still without confrontation and a tense moment followed when Dougie went all in with Dead man's hand against my KJ. An eight on the flop and Dougie doubled his stack.
This must have shaken roundhead's concentration and he called my re raise that put him all in. Both sitting on top pair but Pete's mere 9 got him into kicker trouble and subsequently out of the game.

Four ways = tight play? Not so on the green felt.
Dougie and Colin not shy to call the pre flop raises, but the poker gods left them stranded when the turn didn't show the expected card.

Dougie's try in changing gears saw him all in, again sitting on KJ a little toil but eventually a call. Dougie was sitting on rag K and didn't hit. 2nd bird shot down by the hunter.
Fight for the bubble started but didn't last very long.

In honour of the beach ball Colin took it down and gave his chips to the Denman. Not exactly sure what happened, was all very hazy at that point.

Ergo no exciting heads up neither Den nor me knew really what was going on any more. After three hands we both thought our hands are good enough and there was the all in. Den's 9 10 suited against my A 10, neither of us did hit and that was the end of it.

Joint first with Roundhead – best start ever to a season for me. Pete still first after 49 weeks in a row. Pretty sure it was a good game and very exciting, it all just seems to be covered by a cloud of smoke!

Till next week....

(Today's Blog was brought to you by German Nr1)