Wednesday, 3 February 2010

4 Chinamen and a Bazooka!

This weeks action.......

6 heads grace the felt. Nick-Nack AWOL again, having to work. Correct me if i'm wrong but if you're the manager then surely you call the shots, why have a dug and bark yersel - rumours are he's back next week! (mind your spoony munchies from 2 weeks ago). Denis, Raph (correct spellings), Pete, Colin, Jason and myself get down to action.

Not a lot to talk about early doors, Pete (PuffBaddie) bossing the table a bit with Raph joining him and getting early chip leads. I take a hand off Raph hitting an A on the river to make a house beating the Germans house (more like a bungalow with no cellar).

The talk then turns to munchies supplied by the landlord. A packet of wine gums, Nobbys Nuts, and some Oreos. Are they a rich mans Bourbon or a black mans Custard Cream? Jason has been dwindling all night and gets picked off by Colin, who is also on the dwindle. More -ve equatiy for the man from Corstorphine who declares he's not showing up for a while until he gets poker lessons, sit down with a good book on yer log fella.

Next to depart was Colin, picked off by me with pocket 7's against A rag. Next to leave is German no.1 with what and against who i have no idea! 3 way with Denis, Pete and myself. Denis tries psychological warfare claiming he's bound for the bubble. When pointed out that he only needs to double up he says "na man, i'll take hands off both o ye". He doesn't and it's a soapy tit-wank for the Ayrshire menace.

Battle for air supremacy takes no time at all. Pete raises my blind which I call. Flop comes 6, K, 8. I raise, Pete goes over the top, I push all in and get a caller. I'm sitting with 2 pair K's and 6's, Pete has top pair with J kicker. No hook arrives and with most of his chips gone, thats all she wrote.

First blood to the vulture, the top predator of the air clipping the "budgie". Lucky flop but played like a dream.

Until next weeks blog........

I'm away to wank over Robbie Keane!

(This blog was brough to you by the letter V)

Monday, 25 January 2010

New sheriff in town!

This weeks action......
After a year at the top, and in that time a lot has happened. The Appin poker club venue has relocated, Gordo is pimping it in a sleazy Bangkok bar, America has a black president and Togo have a vacancy for a bus driver (amongst other events). The reign is officially over.

Billy big stack from Bangor, the son of Cromwell, Fergies love child, the mighty Gull has been shot from his perch and is no longer leading the table. (it’s only temporary, on loan, he squawked).

5 heads graced the felt. Nick-Nack goes MIA after last weeks spoon to attend a leaving-do, Jason has to do the in-laws thing which leaves Colin, Dennis, Raff, Pete and myself to do battle.

Early doors is low key with chips moving around the table. Colin takes a wedge out of Petes stack with trip 8’s leaving Pete on the low-tide. Raff decides to play every hand he has with an A, and comes up short, leaking all over the shop like a burst Johnny (or his toilet). Eventually getting put out of his misery by Colin who has pocket Q’s, going from hero to zero with a large chunk of timber to keep him company and the prospect of providing munchies next week.
Pete is next out, losing to his nemesis “the vulture” with what hand I have no idea. Raff then takes Pete downstairs to the Reichstag bunker for an hour to show him his “computer”. After that Raff returns to find his khazi blocked and reluctant to wade in man made star bars stops anyone taking a piss.

Battle for the bubble can mean only one thing. Colin, who, to be fair, was short stacked does what he does best. Picks up the Fairy detergent, dons the marigolds, sings West Ham songs and lathers himself into yet another frenzy of bubble-doom. Heads-up. Dennis and Dougie trade punches for over an hour until eventually I go all-in with A,7 getting a call with Q,8. Ace holds up. First points of the season but more importantly Den moves to top of the table.

The end of an era (thank-fuck), will anyone achieve what Pete did. Highly unlikely, well done to the fella for doing what he did, but its only downhill from now on mate.
Till next week......

Does anyone have a computer ball?

(This blog was brought to you by the Vulture)

Tuesday, 19 January 2010

What good are intentions for the new year if you don't start breaking them straight away?

This weeks Action.....

So here we are, 2nd match of the season and already everyone is late. Greg and Colin were left standing in the cold cause I was dragged out by the missus to do a “little bit “ of shopping. Three shops and over an hour later I arrived 7 minutes late at the flat, to see the two frantically pressing the buzzer and swearing at the laziness of the cat who just couldn't be bothered to get off the sofa and open the door.
Another 15minutes later the rest of the players finally arrive.
7 heads, tenner in, double munchies on stand buy - good to go. Tenner!!!
Jason forgot the chips – again.
Backup chips, cards and button are out and we are finally getting a game on the way.

Some big hands early on without any hits cost me about half my stack of chips. Same fate for Notorious who also gave his chips happily to everyone who wanted some.
The charitable spirit was abused by Colin, and he gained a big early chip lead continuing where he stopped last week.
The first all in was consequently B. I. G. v. Colin. And no prisoners taken Greg's A was beaten By Colin's A. Not really sure why, but rumours involve a Q and a 10. Did anyone hit? Couldn't tell you, but result is: Greg got his first splinter of the year and is responsible for next weeks munchies.

Frustration called for this weeks one and they involved a 16 pack of mini rolls, aka Jodie's chocolate sex toy... the whole pack that is.

No stopping the Colin who was up to a flying start and took on his next victim – Jason! The played hands are again covered by a mist of smoke.

A massive hand being played between Denis, Colin and Pete. Pre flop raise, both call. Flop comes big with A, Q, 10. A raise from Colin sees Pete out of the game but Den stays in and sees Col right to the end. Denis shows top pair but Colin hit a big full house – his pocket queens were full of tens. Denis crippled and just hangs on.

Colin's stack as high as himself which might be why he felt a bit light headed and announced merrily to Pete 'if you don't get any points today I'm going top of the league'.
After that curse is out it all went down hill from there.

I commited almost half my chips pre flop and got Colin as a caller – unfortunately. First to act, all or nothing and it's me all in. Only slight hesitation and Colin calls with top pair. The turn gave him trips and the river sealed it all when the my straight came together.
The game got a bit more tense now with Den playing very conservatively with his small amount he had left.

Dougie and Pete happily avoided each other and were just hoping for a mistake than can be exploited.

The tight game suited Denis, blinds already in the higher levels and him getting some big hands his stack grew to a more healthy size.

His first all in against Dougster and Colin tripled him up and Dougie took the side pot. Apparently there was another one against Pete but the recollection is dimmed by a cocktail of black, green and dust, the latter sponsored by Pete who likes to share it, even with his wife.

The third all in against me, pocket 6s against pocket Js but the very first card to come was a very decisive 6 and no rescue in sight for me.

Pete and Dougie still without confrontation and a tense moment followed when Dougie went all in with Dead man's hand against my KJ. An eight on the flop and Dougie doubled his stack.
This must have shaken roundhead's concentration and he called my re raise that put him all in. Both sitting on top pair but Pete's mere 9 got him into kicker trouble and subsequently out of the game.

Four ways = tight play? Not so on the green felt.
Dougie and Colin not shy to call the pre flop raises, but the poker gods left them stranded when the turn didn't show the expected card.

Dougie's try in changing gears saw him all in, again sitting on KJ a little toil but eventually a call. Dougie was sitting on rag K and didn't hit. 2nd bird shot down by the hunter.
Fight for the bubble started but didn't last very long.

In honour of the beach ball Colin took it down and gave his chips to the Denman. Not exactly sure what happened, was all very hazy at that point.

Ergo no exciting heads up neither Den nor me knew really what was going on any more. After three hands we both thought our hands are good enough and there was the all in. Den's 9 10 suited against my A 10, neither of us did hit and that was the end of it.

Joint first with Roundhead – best start ever to a season for me. Pete still first after 49 weeks in a row. Pretty sure it was a good game and very exciting, it all just seems to be covered by a cloud of smoke!

Till next week....

(Today's Blog was brought to you by German Nr1)

Saturday, 9 January 2010

"Big Freeze Threatens Grand Opening of local Poker League"

This weeks action.....

With Scotland facing record breaking temperatures of -22.30C concerns are raised over the Grand opening of the 2010 Appin Poker Club. The Felt is certainly playable, but how the players get to the table is the problem local authorities face. News comes in from Gorgie where "Auld Wiffies" have taken to pouring boiling water on the path in a bid to combat the invading snow only to be foiled when the pesky water turned against them in the big Freeze.

The Gregorious B.I.G. sends up a flare after all his excrement, of which there is much, decided not to head down the drains as its too cold and instead invades his shower and bath only to be joined by his neighbours jobbies for a party at his.

Dougie Gets the call from work, and spend the evening wrapping veterans in pish stained blankets and hot water bottles.

5 heads brave the conditions, Myself and Hanna with 2 newly acquired sledges in the boot as back up in case the engine oil freezes. Dennis, Rafferty and Colin all join hands and remember the fallen.

Introduction of the aforementioned Green Chip causes confusion on 2 fronts and after a lethal cocktail of bifters the monster munch are opened early.

Colin is the first to buy in, but the rest of the crew hang on till the top-up. Dennis feels the cold snap coming through to window and injecting a frost into his cards as the first Dwindle sets hold, with buses cancels to the village there can be only one outcome.

Jason takes the first Timber of 2010 after getting off to a good start, best used for firewood in these conditions.

The game stops for no man, and there is certainly no food allowed on the table. Until a call from kitchen of "is anyone hungry" is meat with the ravenous applause of a pack of hungry seals. Raffs misses decides to eat or chuck all of her Christmas finery's. And after truffle and champagne pate, the finest cheese board forged by man, 4 servings of apple Strudel, 4Creamebrulees, a crusty loaf, some oatcakes, crisp and dips the game resumes amids the crumbs and carnage.

Dennis is next to feel the pinch and after a couple of successful all ins, finally falls though the canal.

Raffertoid collects the first Bubble of the year which, as was decided on the poker night out are to be recorded in 2010. Other precedent's are that the winner writes the blog, and the game kicks of at 20:30 sharp.

Heads up me Vs Colin, one hand top pair Vs AK after the flop and the 10 stands good. 3 points to the Gull and 2 for Colin who manages to aquire as many points in one game as it took till September last season.

Till Next Week.......

video
"Keeping our sidewalks free of ice and snow is the neighbourly thing to do, and it's the law... "



Tuesday, 29 December 2009

2009 Awards

This Years "Blouse" goes to Dougie for putting up a fight but for not having the minerals to finish the job. The Pigs ear has to go to Nik-Nak for teh second year running, just for being a complete tragedy from start to finish.

Colin gets the Beach Ball Award for bubbles received, sorry mate couldn't find any Liverpool ones!!

Bubbles also to Dennis

This years spoon head to Gordo, who amassed an impressive double figure spoon count, leaving 3/4 way through the season. Colin gets the award in his honour.

Without Doubt this years "fanny baws" award heads to Niddry Mains for Gregor, simply for leaving mid drink on the poker night out without any excuses. (by the way he was off work for a week and his misses was in London) poor show!

Brandy and Cheese anyone?

Labels:


2009....The year of the Gull

The Grande Finale......

As we roll into the last game of 2009, Dougie the Vulture needs a win or (if The Gull Munsoned) second seat would do.

All the regulars make the finale held at the Corstorphine Card Club for the second week in succession, a splendid venue surely to come as a regular fixture on the 2010 Calender.

Nerves are Jangling but not for Nik Nak who had been on the sauce since lunch time, and it showed as Raff calls a flush draw/gut shot straight draw for all his chips in the first hand and hits, the second stalk gets pumped into the middle on the third hand. The double N heads into the hand in top spot buts gets sucked out on the River and its a taxi to Niddry Mains for one.

Dougie soon spunks the first stalk and calls for a buy in as the sweat gets wiped of his rims. 2 hours of play and no-one else has bought in, everyone tops up (especially on the newly introduced green chips) which causes much of the usual confusion.

Dougie relinquishes the last of the stalk and surrenders the Trophy to the Gull, Another tight finish to the league brought down to the wire after 47 games of poker!

Colin and Dennis real the might of Jason, who's performances have improved on the home turf to leave us heads up.

The poker was too Good to remember but its game set and match for the Smoke Dog 2009.

Till next Year.......

Go Hard or Go Home!!!!

Wednesday, 9 December 2009

This one's going to the wire.....

This weeks action......

The penultimate game of the season draws a worthless crowd of 4. excuses from Odd Job, who's sister's in town and Dennis who spent the night in the hospital due to a family case of suspected Swine Flu. Gordo still busy spending his ill-gotten gains in the Thai version of the real life grange hill (Mai-TAi) style. Jason busy getting the tree up.

Colin, Raff, Dougie and myself hold the fort.

After a charity chip giving ceremony from The Gull and several missed buses to dwindleville Station. Colin finally takes the spoon, uch to teh relief of our feathered friend.

Dougie the V self confesses early doors not to chase the flushes but Chases 2 and hits two against his old nemesis as the Vulture dines on Seagull for the night.

Heads up sees Raff trying to bluff the original Bluffer, who promptly calls with top pair and takes the 3 points.

The Grand finally of the 2009 Appin poker Club goes down the last game for the 3rd year in a row. Will The Gull's bottle crash like last year or will the Evil one retain the title?

Till next week.....


I'm aff to clean me trunks!

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?