Appin Poker Club

4 Chinamen and a Bazooka!

2010-02-03T10:48:00.002Z

This weeks action.......

6 heads grace the felt. Nick-Nack AWOL again, having to work. Correct me if i'm wrong but if you're the manager then surely you call the shots, why have a dug and bark yersel - rumours are he's back next week! (mind your spoony munchies from 2 weeks ago). Denis, Raph (correct spellings), Pete, Colin, Jason and myself get down to action.

Not a lot to talk about early doors, Pete (PuffBaddie) bossing the table a bit with Raph joining him and getting early chip leads. I take a hand off Raph hitting an A on the river to make a house beating the Germans house (more like a bungalow with no cellar).

The talk then turns to munchies supplied by the landlord. A packet of wine gums, Nobbys Nuts, and some Oreos. Are they a rich mans Bourbon or a black mans Custard Cream? Jason has been dwindling all night and gets picked off by Colin, who is also on the dwindle. More -ve equatiy for the man from Corstorphine who declares he's not showing up for a while until he gets poker lessons, sit down with a good book on yer log fella.

Next to depart was Colin, picked off by me with pocket 7's against A rag. Next to leave is German no.1 with what and against who i have no idea! 3 way with Denis, Pete and myself. Denis tries psychological warfare claiming he's bound for the bubble. When pointed out that he only needs to double up he says "na man, i'll take hands off both o ye". He doesn't and it's a soapy tit-wank for the Ayrshire menace.

Battle for air supremacy takes no time at all. Pete raises my blind which I call. Flop comes 6, K, 8. I raise, Pete goes over the top, I push all in and get a caller. I'm sitting with 2 pair K's and 6's, Pete has top pair with J kicker. No hook arrives and with most of his chips gone, thats all she wrote.

First blood to the vulture, the top predator of the air clipping the "budgie". Lucky flop but played like a dream.

Until next weeks blog........

I'm away to wank over Robbie Keane!

(This blog was brough to you by the letter V)

New sheriff in town!

2010-01-25T12:47:00.003Z

This weeks action......
After a year at the top, and in that time a lot has happened. The Appin poker club venue has relocated, Gordo is pimping it in a sleazy Bangkok bar, America has a black president and Togo have a vacancy for a bus driver (amongst other events). The reign is officially over.

Billy big stack from Bangor, the son of Cromwell, Fergies love child, the mighty Gull has been shot from his perch and is no longer leading the table. (it’s only temporary, on loan, he squawked).

5 heads graced the felt. Nick-Nack goes MIA after last weeks spoon to attend a leaving-do, Jason has to do the in-laws thing which leaves Colin, Dennis, Raff, Pete and myself to do battle.

Early doors is low key with chips moving around the table. Colin takes a wedge out of Petes stack with trip 8’s leaving Pete on the low-tide. Raff decides to play every hand he has with an A, and comes up short, leaking all over the shop like a burst Johnny (or his toilet). Eventually getting put out of his misery by Colin who has pocket Q’s, going from hero to zero with a large chunk of timber to keep him company and the prospect of providing munchies next week.
Pete is next out, losing to his nemesis “the vulture” with what hand I have no idea. Raff then takes Pete downstairs to the Reichstag bunker for an hour to show him his “computer”. After that Raff returns to find his khazi blocked and reluctant to wade in man made star bars stops anyone taking a piss.

Battle for the bubble can mean only one thing. Colin, who, to be fair, was short stacked does what he does best. Picks up the Fairy detergent, dons the marigolds, sings West Ham songs and lathers himself into yet another frenzy of bubble-doom. Heads-up. Dennis and Dougie trade punches for over an hour until eventually I go all-in with A,7 getting a call with Q,8. Ace holds up. First points of the season but more importantly Den moves to top of the table.

The end of an era (thank-fuck), will anyone achieve what Pete did. Highly unlikely, well done to the fella for doing what he did, but its only downhill from now on mate.
Till next week......

Does anyone have a computer ball?

(This blog was brought to you by the Vulture)

What good are intentions for the new year if you don't start breaking them straight away?

2010-01-19T08:32:00.002Z

This weeks Action.....

So here we are, 2nd match of the season and already everyone is late. Greg and Colin were left standing in the cold cause I was dragged out by the missus to do a “little bit “ of shopping. Three shops and over an hour later I arrived 7 minutes late at the flat, to see the two frantically pressing the buzzer and swearing at the laziness of the cat who just couldn't be bothered to get off the sofa and open the door.
Another 15minutes later the rest of the players finally arrive.
7 heads, tenner in, double munchies on stand buy - good to go. Tenner!!!
Jason forgot the chips – again.
Backup chips, cards and button are out and we are finally getting a game on the way.

Some big hands early on without any hits cost me about half my stack of chips. Same fate for Notorious who also gave his chips happily to everyone who wanted some.
The charitable spirit was abused by Colin, and he gained a big early chip lead continuing where he stopped last week.
The first all in was consequently B. I. G. v. Colin. And no prisoners taken Greg's A was beaten By Colin's A. Not really sure why, but rumours involve a Q and a 10. Did anyone hit? Couldn't tell you, but result is: Greg got his first splinter of the year and is responsible for next weeks munchies.

Frustration called for this weeks one and they involved a 16 pack of mini rolls, aka Jodie's chocolate sex toy... the whole pack that is.

No stopping the Colin who was up to a flying start and took on his next victim – Jason! The played hands are again covered by a mist of smoke.

A massive hand being played between Denis, Colin and Pete. Pre flop raise, both call. Flop comes big with A, Q, 10. A raise from Colin sees Pete out of the game but Den stays in and sees Col right to the end. Denis shows top pair but Colin hit a big full house – his pocket queens were full of tens. Denis crippled and just hangs on.

Colin's stack as high as himself which might be why he felt a bit light headed and announced merrily to Pete 'if you don't get any points today I'm going top of the league'.
After that curse is out it all went down hill from there.

I commited almost half my chips pre flop and got Colin as a caller – unfortunately. First to act, all or nothing and it's me all in. Only slight hesitation and Colin calls with top pair. The turn gave him trips and the river sealed it all when the my straight came together.
The game got a bit more tense now with Den playing very conservatively with his small amount he had left.

Dougie and Pete happily avoided each other and were just hoping for a mistake than can be exploited.

The tight game suited Denis, blinds already in the higher levels and him getting some big hands his stack grew to a more healthy size.

His first all in against Dougster and Colin tripled him up and Dougie took the side pot. Apparently there was another one against Pete but the recollection is dimmed by a cocktail of black, green and dust, the latter sponsored by Pete who likes to share it, even with his wife.

The third all in against me, pocket 6s against pocket Js but the very first card to come was a very decisive 6 and no rescue in sight for me.

Pete and Dougie still without confrontation and a tense moment followed when Dougie went all in with Dead man's hand against my KJ. An eight on the flop and Dougie doubled his stack.
This must have shaken roundhead's concentration and he called my re raise that put him all in. Both sitting on top pair but Pete's mere 9 got him into kicker trouble and subsequently out of the game.

Four ways = tight play? Not so on the green felt.
Dougie and Colin not shy to call the pre flop raises, but the poker gods left them stranded when the turn didn't show the expected card.

Dougie's try in changing gears saw him all in, again sitting on KJ a little toil but eventually a call. Dougie was sitting on rag K and didn't hit. 2nd bird shot down by the hunter.
Fight for the bubble started but didn't last very long.

In honour of the beach ball Colin took it down and gave his chips to the Denman. Not exactly sure what happened, was all very hazy at that point.

Ergo no exciting heads up neither Den nor me knew really what was going on any more. After three hands we both thought our hands are good enough and there was the all in. Den's 9 10 suited against my A 10, neither of us did hit and that was the end of it.

Joint first with Roundhead – best start ever to a season for me. Pete still first after 49 weeks in a row. Pretty sure it was a good game and very exciting, it all just seems to be covered by a cloud of smoke!

Till next week....

(Today's Blog was brought to you by German Nr1)

"Big Freeze Threatens Grand Opening of local Poker League"

2010-01-09T08:24:00.003Z

This weeks action.....

With Scotland facing record breaking temperatures of -22.30C concerns are raised over the Grand opening of the 2010 Appin Poker Club. The Felt is certainly playable, but how the players get to the table is the problem local authorities face. News comes in from Gorgie where "Auld Wiffies" have taken to pouring boiling water on the path in a bid to combat the invading snow only to be foiled when the pesky water turned against them in the big Freeze.

The Gregorious B.I.G. sends up a flare after all his excrement, of which there is much, decided not to head down the drains as its too cold and instead invades his shower and bath only to be joined by his neighbours jobbies for a party at his.

Dougie Gets the call from work, and spend the evening wrapping veterans in pish stained blankets and hot water bottles.

5 heads brave the conditions, Myself and Hanna with 2 newly acquired sledges in the boot as back up in case the engine oil freezes. Dennis, Rafferty and Colin all join hands and remember the fallen.

Introduction of the aforementioned Green Chip causes confusion on 2 fronts and after a lethal cocktail of bifters the monster munch are opened early.

Colin is the first to buy in, but the rest of the crew hang on till the top-up. Dennis feels the cold snap coming through to window and injecting a frost into his cards as the first Dwindle sets hold, with buses cancels to the village there can be only one outcome.

Jason takes the first Timber of 2010 after getting off to a good start, best used for firewood in these conditions.

The game stops for no man, and there is certainly no food allowed on the table. Until a call from kitchen of "is anyone hungry" is meat with the ravenous applause of a pack of hungry seals. Raffs misses decides to eat or chuck all of her Christmas finery's. And after truffle and champagne pate, the finest cheese board forged by man, 4 servings of apple Strudel, 4Creamebrulees, a crusty loaf, some oatcakes, crisp and dips the game resumes amids the crumbs and carnage.

Dennis is next to feel the pinch and after a couple of successful all ins, finally falls though the canal.

Raffertoid collects the first Bubble of the year which, as was decided on the poker night out are to be recorded in 2010. Other precedent's are that the winner writes the blog, and the game kicks of at 20:30 sharp.

Heads up me Vs Colin, one hand top pair Vs AK after the flop and the 10 stands good. 3 points to the Gull and 2 for Colin who manages to aquire as many points in one game as it took till September last season.

Till Next Week.......

"Keeping our sidewalks free of ice and snow is the neighbourly thing to do, and it's the law... "

2009 Awards

2009-12-29T14:37:00.004Z

This Years "Blouse" goes to Dougie for putting up a fight but for not having the minerals to finish the job. The Pigs ear has to go to Nik-Nak for teh second year running, just for being a complete tragedy from start to finish.

Colin gets the Beach Ball Award for bubbles received, sorry mate couldn't find any Liverpool ones!!

Bubbles also to Dennis

This years spoon head to Gordo, who amassed an impressive double figure spoon count, leaving 3/4 way through the season. Colin gets the award in his honour.

Without Doubt this years "fanny baws" award heads to Niddry Mains for Gregor, simply for leaving mid drink on the poker night out without any excuses. (by the way he was off work for a week and his misses was in London) poor show!

Brandy and Cheese anyone?

2009....The year of the Gull

2009-12-29T14:05:00.003Z

The Grande Finale......

As we roll into the last game of 2009, Dougie the Vulture needs a win or (if The Gull Munsoned) second seat would do.

All the regulars make the finale held at the Corstorphine Card Club for the second week in succession, a splendid venue surely to come as a regular fixture on the 2010 Calender.

Nerves are Jangling but not for Nik Nak who had been on the sauce since lunch time, and it showed as Raff calls a flush draw/gut shot straight draw for all his chips in the first hand and hits, the second stalk gets pumped into the middle on the third hand. The double N heads into the hand in top spot buts gets sucked out on the River and its a taxi to Niddry Mains for one.

Dougie soon spunks the first stalk and calls for a buy in as the sweat gets wiped of his rims. 2 hours of play and no-one else has bought in, everyone tops up (especially on the newly introduced green chips) which causes much of the usual confusion.

Dougie relinquishes the last of the stalk and surrenders the Trophy to the Gull, Another tight finish to the league brought down to the wire after 47 games of poker!

Colin and Dennis real the might of Jason, who's performances have improved on the home turf to leave us heads up.

The poker was too Good to remember but its game set and match for the Smoke Dog 2009.

Till next Year.......

Go Hard or Go Home!!!!

This one's going to the wire.....

2009-12-09T13:27:00.002Z

This weeks action......

The penultimate game of the season draws a worthless crowd of 4. excuses from Odd Job, who's sister's in town and Dennis who spent the night in the hospital due to a family case of suspected Swine Flu. Gordo still busy spending his ill-gotten gains in the Thai version of the real life grange hill (Mai-TAi) style. Jason busy getting the tree up.

Colin, Raff, Dougie and myself hold the fort.

After a charity chip giving ceremony from The Gull and several missed buses to dwindleville Station. Colin finally takes the spoon, uch to teh relief of our feathered friend.

Dougie the V self confesses early doors not to chase the flushes but Chases 2 and hits two against his old nemesis as the Vulture dines on Seagull for the night.

Heads up sees Raff trying to bluff the original Bluffer, who promptly calls with top pair and takes the 3 points.

The Grand finally of the 2009 Appin poker Club goes down the last game for the 3rd year in a row. Will The Gull's bottle crash like last year or will the Evil one retain the title?

Till next week.....

I'm aff to clean me trunks!

Grand Opening of Rossi PLace Poker Club

2009-12-03T22:09:00.002Z

The last 8 Month's Action........

With Senior Wallace back in Norn Iron turning PCs off and on again, a minor technical hitch in the home PC turned the hoose into a t'internet free zone. Rossi finally gets the old boy working again.

Highlights from the last few months include Gordo selling Raff a worthless 60" Plasma telly before heading south for winter. Raff falling off his Moped and breaking his arm, Raff moving house and getting three parking tickets in one sitting, Raff moving house and dropping a wardrobe through said TV. Raff getting caught on the Illegal Download and getting fined £700 notes. Raff (now a fugitive at large) has settled into new premises in the greater Leith area where Smoking out the window breeds a new kind of fear.

Highlights from the felt have been too numerous to mention....."Marge I haven't learnt a thing" but involves a familiar end of season battle between Dougie The Vulture and the Irish SeaGull.

Only 5 heads brave the extra few miles to the new venue, Nik-Nak now in new premises himself is busy trying to sort a "threes-up" in Edinburgh's Winter Wonderland as Jodie invites a friend to stay for a few days. Dennis is busy courting and gives a nights gambling the swerve. Currie still jet lagged from Dubai dodges another Thursday night phone call, making DEC 07 his last appearance despite constant harassment from yours truly.

A nervy start to night as only 2 points separate the top 2 spots with three games to play. Colin gets the early bus home and takes the spoon with him. After a tight run for the Spoon Trophy, Gordo Takes the Prize and gets Raff a partial refund on the hooky Telly as their £50 bet comes good for the Germanoid.

A four way battle a with Dougie starting to dwindle and a decent sized pot, the Vulture makes a move but gets called by the Gull with mid pair and its good night Irene. Jason, after at least 6 successful all in attempts cant hit the final card and takes the Micheal Bubble box set home.

Heads up, me and Raff, unfortunately the recollection of this stage of the evening is poor. With Colin Collecting a bag of Goodness and plenty of beer in stock. But I'm sure it was fascinating. Raff takes second spot confirming overall Third for the season and The Gull take 3 much needed points.

With the engraver on stand by and the trophy sitting in the back of the helicpter on the Calder Road, it's all still to play for with 2 games left and only 5 points between myself and the evil one.

Till next week.....

Dougie, tell the wife...... plently of Mr Sheen.... just in case likes!!

Grand Opening of Rossi Place Poker Club

2009-12-02T09:04:00.002Z

The last 8 Month's Action........

With Senior Wallace back in Norn Iron turning PCs off and on again, a minor technical hitch in the home PC turned the hoose into a t'internet free zone. Rossi finally gets the old boy working again.

Highlights from the last few months include Gordo selling Raff a worthless 60" Plasma telly before heading south for winter. Raff falling off his Moped and breaking his arm, Raff moving house and getting three parking tickets in one sitting, Raff moving house and dropping a wardrobe through said TV. Raff getting caught on the Illegal Download and getting fined £700 notes. Raff (now a fugitive at large) has settled into new premises in the greater Leith area where Smoking out the window breeds a new kind of fear.

Highlights from the felt have been too numerous to mention....."Marge I haven't learnt a thing" but involves a familiar end of season battle between Dougie The Vulture and the Irish SeaGull.

Only 5 heads brave the extra few miles to the new venue, Nik-Nak now in new premises himself is busy trying to sort a "threes-up" in Edinburgh's Winter Wonderland as Jodie invites a friend to stay for a few days. Dennis is busy courting and gives a nights gambling the swerve. Currie still jet lagged from Dubai dodges another Thursday night phone call, making DEC 07 his last appearance despite constant harassment from yours truly.

A nervy start to night as only 2 points separate the top 2 spots with three games to play. Colin gets the early bus home and takes the spoon with him. After a tight run for the Spoon Trophy, Gordo Takes the Prize and gets Raff a partial refund on the hooky Telly as their £50 bet comes good for the Germanoid.

A four way battle a with Dougie starting to dwindle and a decent sized pot, the Vulture makes a move but gets called by the Gull with mid pair and its good night Irene.

Jason, after at least 6 successful all in attempts cant hit the final card and takes the Micheal Bubble box set home.

Heads up, me and Raff, unfortunately the recollection of this stage of the evening is poor. With Colin Collecting a bag of Goodness and plenty of beer in stock. But I'm sure it was fascinating.
Raff takes second spot confirming overall Third for the season and The Gull take 3 much needed points.

With the engraver on stand by and the trophy sitting in the back of the helicpter on the Calder Road, it's all still to play for with 2 games left and only 5 points between myself and the evil one.

Till next week.....

Dougie, tell the wife...... plently of Mr Sheen.... just in case likes!!

Better late than Never...

2009-11-28T08:21:00.003Z

The last 8 Month's Action........

With Senior Wallace back in Norn Iron turning PCs off and on again, a minor technical hitch in the home PC turned the hoose into a t'internet free zone. Rossi finally gets teh old boy working again.

Highlights from the last few months include Gordo selling Raff a worthless 60" Plasma telly before heading south for winter. Raff falling off his Moped and breaking his arm, Raff moving house and getting three parking tickets in one sitting, Raff moving house and dropping a wardrobe through said TV. Raff getting caught on the Illegal Download and getting fined £700 notes.

Raff (now a fugitive at large) has settled into new premises in the greater Leith area where Smoking out the window breeds a new kind of fear.

Highlights from the felt have been too numerous to mention....."Marge I haven't learnt a thing" but involves a familiar end of season battle between Dougie The Vulture and the Irish SeaGull.

Only 5 heads brave the extra few miles to the new venue, Nik-Nak now in new premises himself is busy trying to sort a "threes-up" in Edinburgh's Winter Wonderland as Jodie invites a friend to stay for a few days.

Dennis is busy courting and gives a nights gambling the swerve. Currie still jet lagged from Dubai dodges another Thursday night phone call, making DEC 07 his last appearance despite constant harassment from yours truly.

A nervy start to night as only 2 points separate the top 2 spots with three games to play. Colin gets the early bus home and takes the spoon with him.

After a tight run for the Spoon Trophy, Gordo Takes the Prize and gets Raff a partial refund on the hooky Telly as their £50 bet comes good for the Germanoid.

A four way battle a with Dougie starting to dwindle and a decent sized pot, the Vulture makes a move but gets called by the Gull with mid pair and its good night Irene.

Jason, after at least 6 successful all in attempts cant hit the final card and takes the Micheal Bubble box set home.

Heads up, me and Raff, unfortunately the recollection of this stage of the evening is poor. With Colin Collecting a bag of Goodness and plenty of beer in stock. But I'm sure it was fascinating. Raff takes second spot confirming overall Third for the season and The Gull take 3 much needed points.

With the engraver on stand by and the trophy sitting in the back of the helicpter on the Calder Road, it's all still to play for with 2 games left and only 5 points between myself and the evil one.

Till next week.....

Dougie, tell the wife...... plently of Mr Sheen!!

Return of the Nedi.....

2009-04-11T08:30:00.004+01:00

This Month's Action.....

More technical difficulties and serious dose of writers block is the reason for the lack of updates. Highlights from previous weeks include Gordo getting a run of spoons and some dirty-bad rivers, resulting in the a dose of the yips.

A few weeks "me" time is prescribed for the fella as he hangs up the visor, lights a few scented candles and calls on his old friend "George the sock" for a couple of team talks.

Other than that Raff finds his killer streak that made the Germans so famous and takes two scalps off of Dougie the self confessesed "second spot assassin".

This weeks action......

After a hard weekend with the Irwin Brothers in Blackpool, and a heavy mid-week fitba schedule, Gregor takes a week of the game to recover.

Seven heads don the spring/summer '09 collection and head for the smell of money. Doug, Raff, Jason, Gordo, Myself, Colin and a fresh Satellite form the line up and after a brief presentation of a "Tesco's Finest Cheese Platter" to commemorate the birthing of Gordo the game gets underway.

I run into a few hands V the satellite with kicker problems who takes the spoon in the end with two pair V my straight. Right moves at the wrong time for the fella. Rafferty tries to recover a few chips lost in earlier battles and pushes all in with a flush draw, I call with top pair, hitting trips to send the big man off to light the candle of Gordo's birthday cake.

The birthday boy gets lucky as Colin pushes all in with AQ, Gordo calls with A4 hitting the four. Dougie is next to feel the Birthday backlash with and pure binary flop Doug pushes all in, running into G's poker.

Three way, Myself Jason and Gordo, all three passing the chips about all night but go into the affair with me slight lead on Gordo and Jason on the short stack. The battle for the bubble goes on for 2 rounds of blinds now 15-30, taking its toll on my ever dwindling stack and getting re-raised at every turn a final push is made with K4 off and 100 chips. Jason calls with the J's and its another bubble for my ever increasing collection.

Heads up in an epic battle, Jason searching for the first victory of the season and Gordo trying to lay to rest the demons of previous weeks. Jason takes a monster before a push all in with A10 V Gordo's QJ. The flop shines A 10 and Jason takes it down! removing himself from negative equity in the process.

Till next week.....

I'm forever blowing bubbles.......

2 Down, 3 to go!!

2009-03-03T22:13:00.003Z

This weeks action......

7 heads grace the felt in the form off Jason, Raff, Dennis, Colin, Doug, Gregor and myself. Unusual apologies from Gordo, who cant make the game as he was too busy in the house flogging his dead horse.

A fiery start to the game brings a few raises and with an action flop Dougster makes an early move all- in but runs into my set of 4's and gets an early unfamiliar early bath collecting some negative equity on the way. Next hand as Gregor makes a daring move with 2 ladies on the board, with middle pair and gets a quick call by Rafferty who shine the sisters thrice.

Another monster with a flop of A93 and a re-re raise from Colin, Jason moves all in for a steal, but brings me and Colin along for the ride, I shine A9 but to no avail as Colin shows a 6 card straight. Leaving Jason to command the x-wing up Corstorphine way via a local confectioners. After some passing chips Colin makes a move short stacked but his hooks are dead and Den takes it down with AJ.

Rafftery pushes with A 10 and gets a call from me with pocket 10's which hold up, Rafferty steadily improving with his highest and soapiest finish of the season.

Heads up, me and Dennis on the short stack, 5 hands deep, Den makes a steal at a pot and runs into a flush.

Till next week.......

I cant be arsed an more!

Somebody call a Doctor......

2009-02-23T16:13:00.002Z

This weeks action......

With the return of the one and only Doctor Robotnic, 8 heads conform early but several retract due to finances. A Big game for the returning hero sparks the usual controversy from Gordo, who barters for a buy-in as opposed to the £20 freeze-out. The decision rests with the Doc who calls for a buy-in.

Six players include The Doc, Raff, Gordo, Dougie, Gregor and myself. True to form Doc gets involved early doors and the first stack takes a few dents before heading all in V Gordo, Doc takes it down with a better K and revives the stack.

The Doc kindly deals me pocket Aces which are slow played, with a flop of A Q 8 Gordo shoots off a 20 raise, Raff calls as well as me, another Q on the turn and Raff pushes all in, I push all in as well and G-man calls. A car crash of epic proportions as Raff shows pocket 8's. Gordo has 2 pair, Full house A's full of Q's takes it down, as Gordo and Raff get the spare stack out the box.

Gordo gets busy with the new chips, with QJ on the flop, pushes all in with AJ, Dougie calls with QJ leaving the Grape Commander short stacked.

Gordo gets the hand he has been waiting for and pushes with AK but 2 callers in the form of Doc and Gregor check it down to the wire, Gregor takes it down with a pair of 10's. Spoonage for the G-man for the second week running, hopefully next weeks forfeit will be better than this week's which included a packet of cardboard and dip selection and a pack of 20 lemon sponge cakes. The kind a Junkie buys his mother to celebrate his release from prison(remember quality not quantity Gordo)

With a flop of 359, I move all with top pair ace kicker, Gregor falls in love with the paint and calls with AK. No king to the rescue as the silver box is opened and another 10 spot deposited into the tin.

Greg gets busy with the new chips and a raise of 30 is called by me and the Doc, a low flop sparks a move from the Doc who pushes all in , Gregor calls with more paint and no hand as I fold, Doc takes it down with a mighty pair of 3's.

Rafferty moves all in with AK and gets a call from me with QK suited, a glimmer of hope comes as a 10 J comes on the flop, but the host breathes a sigh of relief as the A holds up.

Myself and Dr Dougie Howser buy in at the limit, as the full quota of buy-ins is reached. Raff makes a move short stacked with A6 suited and gets a call from Dr Doug with QJ, the resident doctor hits the flop as Rafferty dons the white gloves for the evening.

3 way turns into an epic battle myself sandwiched between 2 Doctors. With the chip count spread even a battle of mind games starts as some big bluffs get put down and of course duly shown to the folder.

After 40 mins of solid play from the trio I move with pocket 4's Dougie calls with A6 hitting the Ace, leaving me short stacked. I claw a few blinds back and get the stack back to 200 with 1200 in play. Doc raises 90 and gets a call by the Doug, I push all in with 89 suited for a potential cra crash, Doc toils for a moment then calls, Doug folds and sits back to watch safely behind his wall o chips. I get a bit of luck and hit a 9 leaving the original Dr short stacked.

Doc gets doubled up by me before pushing all in with 7's I call with A3 and hit and Ace, leaving the Doc with the soapy bubble on his return. His second bout of bad news for the week as it turns out Dominos have stopped wis favourite Meteor pizza (sales dropped a record 78% on his departure).

Heads up me V Dougie and with no raise pre flop A65 on the board, Doug hits low pair and goes for a bluff, I call with the ace leaving Doug on the super short stack.Doug makes a final move a and gets a call from me with any old muck which holds up.

Till next week.....

£128,000 I'll even leave the sofa!!!

Never trust a homeless man with a dog!!

2009-02-15T11:12:00.002Z

This weeks action......

News spreads of Compo's £70 haul from the last few weeks, as 8 heads gather for a throw o' the dice. Rumours of a £20 150 chip freeze-out send shock waves across the capital, as we finally decide on settling the dispute democratically, sparking numerous phone calls from the Grape HQ "can i count on your vote" is the cry from Gordo. Who, had he been employed by John McCain and put to work with such vigor, may have thwarted senator Obama in last years elections.

Players this week include Colin, Gordo, Raff, Jason, Dennis, Old Nik, Comps, and the "not so" Smokey- Pete, as I strap a box of nicotine replacement patches to the coupon in an attempt to give up the evil weed.

First hand and no family affair as Raff and Dennis get involved, an Ace one the board calms things down as a Duo of Pocket K's are shown. All Gordo's earlier efforts in keeping the game to a tenner prove fruitful as he flops top 2-pair and pushes the stack, but the wellies are off for an early bath in Nora Batties as Dougie flops the nut straight.

Jason is next to feel the wrath of the Dougster, obviously fit after last weeks rest. The Duo move with top pair K's, but Dougs Ace kicker beats J's J.

Another trip to Splitsville Tennessee for Raff, this time V Dougie as they both move with AJ. Raff is suited but too no avail.

A Raise of 17 from Raff is called by Old Nik with a flop of 10 J junk, as a K falls on the river and Rafferty pushes the Stack. After much deliberation Smalls makes a call with the J in his hand. Raff turns 10 Q and looks to have been caught on the bluff, but later reveals he though he had K10 in his paw!!

Colin, who after last weeks spoon produces a bag of savoury dip, kettle chips and chocolate cake. much to the delight of the inmates, soon requiring a hoover for the felt. But the game continues regardless. The bringer of food makes a move short stacked with QJ off and gets called by me with QK suited., the K holds firm in the end.

I push all in after a pre-flop raise from Biggy. Who toils for a moment before calling with AK off. Pocket Kongers for myself and a nervy flop is dealt trying to avoid the Ace which unfortunately for Biggy doesn't come.

Three way myself, Dougie and Dennis on the short stack, who pushes all in and gets a call from me with A4, the four holds as the D-man gets a taste of the soap.

Heads up and a few hands are dealt before a flop of 532, all diamonds, is dealt. I push all in with pocket 6's one diamond. Dougie calls immediately announcing flush with a J7 of diamonds in his tail... or so he thought but it turns out the Jack is in fact more heart shaped than it is pointy! The head falls, but only for a second as another diamond comes on the river. Doug's flush to the 7 is higher than mine to the 6. Dougster apologises then promptly retracts, as he gets the needle out and pockets the loot, but more importantly the points.

NEWSFLASH

Cyberdyne Systems Model 101 returns from the fatherland for next weeks game, which will be a £20 150 chip freeze-out in honour of our returning hero, who will of course have a bounty on his shiny metal head.

Till next week....

Get saving fools!!

Never trust a homless man with a dog!!

2009-02-14T11:45:00.002Z

This weeks action......

News spreads of Compo's £70 haul from the last few weeks, as 8 heads gather for a throw o' the dice. Rumours of a £20 150 chip freeze-out send shock waves across the capital, as we decide on settling the dispute democratically. Sparking numerous phone calls from the Grape HQ "can i count on your vote" is the cry from Gordo, who, he had been employed by John McCain and put to work with such vigor, may have thwarted senator Obama in last years elections.

Players this week include Colin, Gordo, Raff, Jason, Dennis, Old Nik, Comps, and the "not so" Smoke- Pete, as I strap a box of nicotine replacement patches to the coupon in an attempt to give up the evil weed.

First hand and no family affair as Raff and Dennis get involved, an Ace one the board calms things down as a Duo of Pocket K's are shown. All Gordo's earlier efforts in keeping the game to a tenner prove fruitful as he flops top 2-pair and pushes the stack, but the wellies are off for an early bath in Nora Batties as Dougie flops the nut straight.

Jason is next to fell the wrath of the Dougster, obviously fit after last weeks rest. The Duo move with top pair K's, but Dougs Ace kicker beats J's J.

Another trip to Splitsville Tennessee for Raff V Dougie this time as they both move with AJ. Raff is suited but too no avail.

A Raise of 17 from Raff is called by Old Nik with a flop of 10 J junk, as a K falls on the river Rafferty pushes the Stack. After much deliberation Smalls makes a call with the J in his hand. Raff turns 10 Q and looks to have been caught on the bluff, but later reveals he though he had K10 in his paw!!

Colin, who after last weeks spoon produces a bag of Savoury dip, kettle chips and chocolate cake. much to the delight of the inmates, requiring a hoover for the felt. But the game continues regardless. The bringer of food makes a move short stacked with QJ off and gets called by me with QK suited., the K holds firm in the end.

I push all in after a pre-flop raise from Biggy. Who toils fro a moment before calling with AK off. Pocket Kongers for myself and a nervy flop is dealt trying to avoid the Ace which unfortunately for Biggy doesn't come.

Three way myself, Dougie and Dennis on the short stack, who pushes all in and gets a call from me with A4, the four holds as the D-man gets a taste of the soap.

Heads up and a few hands are dealt before a flop of 532, all diamonds, is dealt. I push all in with pocket 6's one diamond. Dougie calls immediately announcing flush with a J7 of diamonds in his tail... or so he thought but it turns out the Jack is in fact more heart shaped than it is pointy! The head falls, but only for a second as another diamond comes on the river. Dougs flush to the 7 is higher than mine to the 6. Dougster apologises then promptly retracts, as he gets the needle out and pockets the loot, but more importantly the points.

Cyberdyne Systems Model 101 returns from the fatherland for next weeks game, which will be a £20 150 chip freeze-out in honour of ourreturning hero, who will of course have a bounty on his shiny metal head.

Till next week....

Get saving fools!!

Justin V's Lionel

2009-02-12T18:05:00.005Z

This weeks action.....

After a brief break in the blizzards 7 samurais draw swords round the hollowed table of green for the big buy-in. Gordo, Colin, Jason, Raff, myself, Biggy and senior who flies over after a heavy dump of snow up north to strap a plank to his feet and slide down a few rocky hills. apologies in the form of Dougie who gets another back shift and Dennis gets locked in the cellar.

Colin Jason and Senior are first to pull the parachute. Old wounds draw fresh blood as Gordo and Gregor do battle, Gordo taking 2 big scalps of his nemesis with a set of 9's and pocket J's and amasses a formidable and ever changing wall of chips. The 3 G's get involved in a monster with Gregor taking it down with a set of 10's.

With all heads buying in and a prize pool of £140 up for grabs Colin pushes all in, Biggy and Gordo go over the top with 50 pre-flop, Gordo shoots another 50 and gets a call as Biggy takes it down with A9 as the exodus of Gordo ( sorry Compo's) chips begins. Colin takes the Spoon and more importantly has to dip his hand for next weeks Beverage/Savoury delights. This weeks in the form of cake and scabs from yours truly.

Senior takes a dive with pocket 5's V Biggy's AJ turning into a handsome set of J's. Jason is next to fall as his A3 gets taken by my pocket 7's.

Raff makes a move with the Bullets V Gordo's 9 10 open ended, but the bullets turn into a full hoose, and gets himback in the game, the exodus continues for Compo, leaking another big hand to Raff then Biggy.

I make a move with to pair J's and get yet another call from Compo with a rag A, all looks well in the world until a dirty A comes on the River slicing a serious wedge of the chips and reinforcing Compo's diminishing stack.

With the bigger stack losing in every all-in situation for over an hour, Raff deals himself another pair of bullets V Compo who moves all in, and still no-one else falls. Gordo and Raff do battle once more, Raff with AK but Compo hits poker Q's on the river again leaving Raff with a few playing tokens. One final move from ze German all-in V Biggy who takes it down with a better Ace as Raff finally falls on his sword.

Three way myself Biggy and Compo, Biggy leaks a few to Comps before falling into a wee trap me with a set of 10's but a J on the turn and a Q on the river gives the man top straight leaving me with a hill to climb. Next hand I push all in with J's as Biggy calls with Q 10 off, but with Justin Timberlakes greatest hits on the I-pod this week, a Q surely comes on the river (cry me cry me) as we move to heads up.

Heads up, one hand, Compo with AJ as biggy calls with 10J. Jacks are dead as Gordo heads for the first Victory of the season, but with the I-pod on shuffle Loinel Richies Greatest hits gets turned up to full boot and its "once, twice, three times a lady" as yet another Q falls on the river, Biggy hits the straight through the back door as Compo climbs in the bath tub and sails down the hill, boking out his nostrils as he goes!

Until next week......

£130,000 final offer?

Have you seen the Macaroons?

2009-01-31T08:44:00.002Z

This weeks action....

The kick off is delayed due to traffic problems outside the venue, as 2 heads get stranded in the Slateford area and cant squeeze in to the fun bus only to brave the LRT 44. Gamblers come in the form of me, Raff, Jason, Gregor, Gordo and Dougie keen to get on the points after last weeks back shift.

With everyone aware of how costly the negative points are when it comes to the title race, 6 heads remain after an hours play. Chips get passed around but only Gordo manages to hold onto them, putting in a few big moves on old Nik.

With Jason on the short stack I push all in and get a call, Jason's 9's against AK suited, both hit the board and the set holds good. Much to Biggy's delight before he realises there's a lot of change left which is promptly pushed into the middle in the next hand as I jump on the LRT 56 to Tilt Station pushing all in with 56Suited pre flop with 40 odd chips. The table folds only Gordo left who has a brief pause before pushing with QK off, high cards hold and a royal munson from me as Raff and Biggy brief deep from the super short stack.

The short stacks make a move as Jason doubles up off Gordo , Biggy Triples up followed by Rafferty who doubles off Biggy with a nut flush as Biggy fails to raise the blinds and pays hard for it.

Raff makes a move with 4's against Gordo's A7off but a back door nut flush see's off German number 1, the weekly question is asked "have you spoke to Yurn?" and the weekly response of "no, I'll try him during the week" is given.

Big hands as Biggy puts out Jason with trips before a car crash as Biggy flops a straight V Gordo, who exits for a cigarette must must have swapped it for a bag of scag as he comes back from the kitchen looking like a poor man's "renton". Unable defend himself from a barrage of abuse and unable to operate modern technology much to the amusement of the table.

Gordo dusts himself down and flops a nut straight taking out Dougie with the lower end of the same run. More soap for Doug who misses next week due to scheduling difficulties.

Heads up, Gordo V's his old Enemy. Gordo puts the aggression in early doors and goes over the top all in with 89suited, Biggy makes another brilliant call with K7 off. Both hit the board but the K stands.

All change at the top of the table with only 46 games left in the '09 season.

Till next week....

I'll take £135,000 for it?

Did you mind the cards.....

2009-01-28T20:32:00.002Z

This weeks action........

5 heads brave the frozen wastes to do battle in the form of Gregor, Jason, Raff, Dennis and myself. Excuses come from Gordo busy on a one day trip to Bangor of all places, the "K" Ranch his exact location, to visit his X misses. Thus concluding the worst excuse anyone has come up with in the history of the hallowed league, regardless of how true it was. Dougie cant swap the back shift and accepts his fate.

Duty bound by the previous weeks spoon Raff produces a crate of frosty ales for the table, Jason's on a roll-over from the week before but turns up empty handed and promises a pack of pastries from Leith's finest Sicilians. The game gets of to a rocky start, with chips lashed about, and bags of badness produced adding a bit of time on the clock.

Raff is the first to fall, Kicker problems as he passes a stalk to yours truly. Dennis makes a move with the short stalk with AQ ands gets a call from me with A5 suited. The flush comes on the river and the Rat Trap calls.

Battle for the soap sees Jason get cleaned down the River by Gregor who hits his K. Heads up but after last weeks lengthy affair this week was over after 10 hands. Biggy hits top pair on the flop with Jacks but with J55 on the board and a wee sneaky 5 in the hole the chips end up in the middle and its all over for another week.

Till next week....

Anyone want buy a house?

The Fantastic Four

2009-01-17T08:29:00.004Z

This weeks action.....

A damp winters night in Auld Reekie results in a loss of attendance after only one weeks play. Newly appointed member Colin can t make it as his misses has him chained to the radiator in a pair of cotton panties. Fran-Man is holed up in Gorgie with a bag of badness and the boiler on full Tilt. Senior is still doing work in the community in Norn Iron, Currie's a disgrace, Rossi is working on the guns (downloading smut), Jason has a full load of infirmed folk to look after and Gregor's in London locked in a hotel room with the misses and a box of rubber gloves.

The game looks to be cancelled as Gordo starts making all kinds of crazy excuses but after several negotiations he settles for a lift home to the Fort and manages to sort himself out. Myself, Dougie, Raff and Gordo get down to business in a winter warming winner takes all 4 way battle.

In the absence of Gregor, Gordo is able to pull a few moves and sets about raising everyone of pots and amasses a stack. Raff falls victim and looks to be set for a ride to Dwindle Central. Gordo puts in a few raises against yours truly but walks in to a Flush, a raise of 18 on the river is doubled by me and after his earlier form Gordo pushes all in. Some change avoids him the spoon and he sets about getting his chips back.

Raff pushes all in with A10 suited, Gordo calls with 10J, 10's are dead but the flop brings 10j and its all over Rafferty, who now finds himself in the Red.

The battle for the bubble and Gordo gets involved again flopping top pair but walks into my set and gets some some soap for his efforts.

Heads up me V Dougie, normally a 10 hand affair, but not tonight. Me with the chips lead initially soon swings as we swap places. After 45mins the tides are turned again. Dougie makes a move and gets a call with my flush draw and middle pair. Dougie leads after the turn but I hit my rag on the river to put the big fella into second spot.

Till next week.....

Thursday=Poker

Opening Ceremony 2009

2009-01-12T21:15:00.000Z

This weeks action.......

With the slate wiped clean 7 heads join together for the opening ceremony of the 2009 season.The books are opened as Colin and Fran-Man join the hallowed ranks.

Nik-Nak, Jason, Raff, Gordo, Fran, Dougie and myself do battle in the Big Buy in. Nic-Nak shows a bit ring rust and folds the big blind on the first hand. Gordo puts in a move against the double N but gets called on the the flop and the river before pushing all in on the turn. N-N calls with A high claiming to have "read him like a book" as Gordo turns He-Haw and takes the re-buy. 7 remain after and hours play until Big J make a move with a set of 7's but runs into Gordo's flush and collects the first splinter of the season.

Rafferty flops a set of 9's from his pocket pair and sets about laying a trap, Nic pushes all in with pocket 10's, no help from the turn but a delayed turn of the river gives the poker gods a chance to deliver a 10 turning raff the same shade as the felt.

Fran makes a rash move against Dougie with K3 Dougie puts him out with A's. Gordo collects a few chips back before getting tagled up with N-N for round 2. Another crazy round of betting results in Gordo pushing all in, J's against Q's, Gordo for the mixers as his old Nemesis remains number 1 on the hit list.

Consolation for Gordo as he challenges Jason in a battle to see who can make the worst joint, but Jason's Crouching Stickleback is no match for Gordo's Seabass Style (fins included).

The battle for the Bubble and its Dougie, Nik-NAk and myself. Dougie runs into a few hands before hitting his A on the board, but the flop brings 2 pair, last years champion gets the first suds of the year to polish the trophy.

Heads up, even stacks, after 15 mins of swapping chips I make a move with a dud board. A check Raise all-in on the river gets a call from Nic who is sitting with pocket A's, He-Haw from my good self as biggy takes the honours, affording the big man some breathing space as he heads off to London next week.... on a Thursday! must off been booked my the misses.

Until Next Week.......

Gordo Vs Gregor 0-1 (Agg)

Buy In- £140: (£90/50)

Opening Ceremony 2009

2009-01-12T20:20:00.006Z

2009 Seson

2009-01-05T20:28:00.002Z

First Game of the Month £10 Buy in 100 chips

Second Game of the Month £20 Freeze out 150 chips

Prize Structure £10 Freeze out :

4 Players, winner takes all
5-7Players, second place doubles up
8 Players , £50/£30
9 Players, £60/£30
10 Players, £60 /£40

The Grande Finale

2009-01-05T19:36:00.004Z

This week's action......

With Christmas just around the corner only 6 brave warriors cross swords for the final game of the 08 season. Myself, Dougie and Nik-Nak can all win the Trophy. Gordo and Nik-Nak battle it out for the President Spoony.

Dougie, Gordo, Nic-Nak, Myself, Raff and Colin get down to business. Dougie sets off with some big pre flop raises and amasses a stack early doors. Nic-Nak desperate for a win to keep the seasons hope's alight, gets off to a nightmare running into some hands before pushing the stack in with 10's Dougie dully calls with QK and hits the K on the flop, no hope from the river results in a true Munson as the big man takes the spoon joining Gordo and sharing in the this years Spoon Award. The first time the award has been shared in a season, and the first time its gone to a Scotsman.

I slip down the rankings and push all in with JJ's only to find a call from Dougie who takes it down with and Ace. Now with yours truly out of running, if Dougie gets into the points the Trophy goes to Scotland for the first time in Appin history.

Colin is next to feel the wrath and the battle of the bubble commences with Raff, Gordo and Dougie doing battle. With Gordo on the short stack there's only one move which results in a triple up and 2 doubles. But one move too many and heads up Raff V's Dougie in the final battle of the season.

With the mathematics confirmed Dougie take the 2008 Silverware but not the game as Raff gets his first win since the summer.

Till Next Season....

They fought like warrior poets.....they fought like Scotsman.....and won their freedom

Tighter than a Witches Teat

2008-12-16T22:36:00.004Z

This weeks Action.......

The penultimate game of the season draws an anxious crowd of 9 brave warriors. Dougie returns to the felt hungry for action after last week's ill-timed error, after giving the work's Xmas Bash the body swerve for the poker. Only to find himself on the rota the cover the event!

Its all to play for in the closest season yet. Four contenders could still win the league after 44 weeks of poker, 4 heads also in contention for this years Spoon Trophy.

8 heads join Dougie including me, Raff, Senior, Jason, Fran-Man, Burn-Ware, Gordo and a drunken Nik-Nac all full of double G&T's joins the table after gate crashing the Farmfoods Xmas Doo.

With Gordo's pair of Moles deep from the dungeons of the Grape aiding him in his quest to avoid the title of President Spoony. All eyes fall to Fran and Nik Nak, with an Ace on the board Fran pushes all in, N-N calls and a battle of the kickers looks set for the cards. Fran however shines pocket K's and a valiant attempt to play him of the hand is thwarted.

As the sudden realisation falls to Gordo , that the battle for the Spoon Award can only be drawn (if Gregor gets it next week) the immortal and heartfelt words "you are dead to me" are offered to Fran-man.

Next to pull on the Oxfam tuppard is the French Foreign Agent who hands over his stack to Biggy who's now tripled up in the first round.

Short stacked and with Senior raising to 30 pre-flop I push all in, A5 suited against Seniors J8 suited, but a J on the river means the season now comes down to the final game, consolation to the loser. a pair of white gloves.

Raff falls asleep on the bus and wakes up at dwindle station, removing himself from the title race in the process. Jason makes a move with 10J suited and gets out flushed by Gordo.

Dougie battles with the stack but gets caught by senior on the bluff keeping the difference at the top of the table to just one point!

Gordo uses some Monkey Magic and comes back from the brink to join senior and Nik-NAc in the battle for the soap.

Gordo re-raises all in with AQ suited getting a call from Nik with pocket Q's. No help on the board and Gordo gets his Spoon quest foiled by the old enemy.

Heads up, with senior trying to get out of the red and Nik Nac with a restoration of the title contention up for grabs, and much more valued than currency of mere mortals.

After some body blows an ill timed bluff from Senior gets called as he runs into pocket A's. All over and with Nik-Nac getting the win only 2 points separate the top 3 heading into the final game. Biggy still with a possible draw on the cards for the Spoon Awards bout this award looks like its coming home to Leith this year.

Till next week......

I'm Bob Monkhouse " have you seen my I-POd"

Final Game of the season £20 Freeze out 150 Chips.

Gordo turns Maroon!!

2008-12-09T14:07:00.002Z

This weeks action.......

As we head toward the penultimate game of the season, battles open up all over the table. With league leader Dougie taking the week off Gregor, Raff and myself set phaser's to kill.

Gordo sets his missile lock on fellow spoon contenders Nik Nak-Raff and myself. Whilst senior tries to get himself out of the sinking sand and get off the bottom of the table.

Players come in the form of Raff, Gordo, Nik-Nak, Senior, Jason, Colin amd myslef. A special appearance from the Lizard King himself, who battles through the firey baracades of The Fort for the last big buy in game of the season.

Gordo dodges a bullet in the first hand as I slow play poker 10's, the turn and river is checked down and the big man resits the urge to push the first stalk in to the middle.

J-Boy gets off to a flyer and shares the chip lead after out flushing myself. With so much tension as the pot holds £160 and the season drawing to a close nobody could afford any hiccups. Nik-Nak, after squandering the first stalk gets tied up with Gordo as the battle of the Spoon takes he spotlight. The life life long Hibernian supporter shouts for the hearts as Nik Nak calls with the flush to the K gordo has the nuts to teh A, Nik Nac takes the spoon leaving him in contention for the Trophy.

Raff breathes a sigh of relief, with the spoon out of the way he can go all in in peace and gets the pocket bullets from the Lizard Man.

Senior tries to get himself out of negativity and after a raise of 20 from yours truly he goes over the top with AQ all in. A call with pocket K's holds out leaving the big man to relax with some quality tunes, care of William Gallas who must have visited the Mouse Trap at the weekend and forgot his I-pod.

Colin is next to Dwindle and has the remainder duly removed as the Lizard Mans takes another scalp.

J sets about spending the chips and heads all in with 10 J suited against the Chip eater Gordo, the flush doesn't come and its a swift exit for him and senior in the the X-Wing Corstorphine Express.

3 way at 12:30 turns into a messy affair and after an hours play, 2 German sausages with mysterious German sauce and some fine cheese washed down with some free booze the Lizard Man bows out leaving me and Gordo to go heads up.

After a messy battle for the bubble, there's no time for heads up, All in first hand me with A5 and Gordo with 10 J, a 10 on the flop gives Gordo the lead, no outs come from the deck as the former Hibernian supporter takes the 3 points and the £100.

Another Change at the top, one point separates the battle for the Spoon, and Gordo takes a lead over Dennis in the battle for a Euafa cup spot!!!

Till next week.....

I'm William Gallas "have you seen me I-pod?"